Unraveling
by lunareclipse3
Summary: "...it will have begun, the worst war of all." Aline has been to hell and back, but what if hell's followed her back to Camp Half-Blood? Any semblance of a relationship with Nico is torn, just like her, and it's not quite over... Sequel to Complicated.
1. 1 Anywhere But Here

**A/N: ****I happily present: Unraveling. Part Two in my little Complicated saga. I don't have much more to say than enjoy!**

**P.S. Fanfiction wasn't letting me put it up :( Sorry about the wait.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians. I do not on 'In One Ear' by Cage The Elephant.**

* * *

The answer was elsewhere.

That was where I really, really needed to be at the moment. I tapped my head consu- _my eldest sibling_, Will, on the shoulder and asked the predictable question of could I leave the cabin. He gave me the usual answer of being back before dinner. Eager to be out of the shining, bright, almost choking air of Cabin Seven I practically ran to the door. But first, per usual, CG brushed by me and asked me to say 'hi' to Mathias who I was- as usual- off to meet. It had all become so routine.

It was the same stroll to the broken pier on the lake. Water didn't bother me anymore, now that I knew there were other things to fear. The same sneer from Sara as I passed my old home of Cabin Eleven, and me smiling wryly at how she'd '_love to see me_ _fall_' but I '_was already on my back_ '.

When I arrived at the pier the naiads scurried away like I expected, but Mat wasn't there yet. He wasn't waiting for me while he was practically drooling over one of his perverted novels. So I sat there and waited but I didn't want to stay too long because it was early winter and I wasn't willingly to be out late. There were too many things hiding in the dark.

I was just about to leave when someone grabbed my shoulder.

My body reacted first- stomping on the inside of their foot, grabbing the offending wrist and twisting it behind their back. Then I spotted the glasses. I dropped his arm and stepped away, shaking almost as bad as Mathias was. He rubbed his arm and looked down at me. Dark brown eyes were locked onto eyes shades lighter but Mathias was the first to look away. It was pretty clear he wasn't expecting an apology and I couldn't bring myself to offer one anymore. So I didn't.

"CG says '_hello_' or '_hola_' or '_bonjour_' or whatever the hell it is where he's from," I said quickly.

"Oh," Mat's blush was practically luminescent," tell him '_Salutations, Comment avez-vous été?_' for me, alright?"

I tried to repeat the phrase but the words didn't roll off my tongue the same graceful way they did with CG and Mat. I waved a hand at him, "You can do it yourself," before he could object I added, "I heard Stacey from Aphrodite had her eye on him. I'm pretty sure he's holding out for you but who knows how long that will last?" I teased. And if it actually hurt Mat, too bad. I refused to be their mediator any longer.

When Mat didn't answer- just kept on staring ahead in horror at the very thought- I changed the subject, "You were late. How come?"

That snapped him right out of it. He fished something out of his pocket and presented it to me with a mischievous shine in his eyes. It was a person. More specifically it was _me_. So of course I shrieked and dropped it. Mat cried out, "Wait," before I could stomp of it like I would a bug.

He snatched it out of the way of my foot and gestured for me to sit besides him again.

"It's an automaton. Or at least a prototype of one," he explained, "See?" His twisted the... doll's arm and I flinched involuntarily. The mini-Aline clacked to life, gears making her eyes and jaw crack. It looked as if she was waking up. The automaton rose and began walking around, quite clueless.

Suddenly Mat called out, "Cyclops!" My hand immediately flew to my necklace but there was no apparent threat. Actually, to my amusement, the doll had pulled a whip identical to mine out of _somewhere_ and was still searching for the monster.

"That's really amazing," I said, astounded.

"Thanks," Mathias said. He was practically glowing with pride.

"What is it- she for?"

"Well," Mat reached for my replica, "they're designed to fight," the doll bit his hand when it got to close and Mat winced, "and they can. I just have to make a lot more on a lot larger scale."

"They'll be amazing," I assured him. A secret sort of smile still on his lips, Mat held the doll around the waist and gently switched it off. He handled the automan- which looked exactly like me from the now long and plaited dark hair to the scars and bony elbows- the same way he'd handled me during the month I'd been back. Cautiously but gently. Like I was a doll. Like I would attack or break any second.

I didn't want to do either but I wasn't sure I could help it by now.

"It's getting late," I said abruptly. In truth, the sun was barely touching the tops of the trees but one glance at my expression and Mat didn't argue.

"Okay," he said simply, "We should head back." He put my automan in his coats pocket. Camp may have had a godly weather control but that didn't mean some of the cold wasn't sneaking in as winter approached. I bit my tongue before I could ask Mat if he was going home for the holidays. I almost forgot he didn't have one to go back to. And I couldn't leave Camp Half Blood, a 'doctor's order'.

"So how have you been?" Mathias asked reluctantly. That was another 'order' issued to him by my pseudo-doctor and self-righteous little sister Kayla. The evil little ginger had insisted it was part of my road to recovery. Strange for her to say when I had refused to tell them exactly what I was recovering from. And Mat knew not to expect an answer, so I didn't give one. Instead I asked him about gears and cogs and screws and other such things that the Hephaestus kids enjoyed talking about. I could tell he also appreciated the change of subject.

Dinner, evening activities, and campfire was a blur of people, noise, and other things I didn't enjoy at the moment. A clamor of fleeting glances and whispers behind hands: i_sn't she that one girl, I heard her prophecy, did you know, did you see what she did, totally on medication..._

I shook my head and chuckled; if only they knew how much of those rumors were true. I caught one trio of younger girls looking back and forth at the Hades table and me. I bit my lip and turned toward Nico slowly. He had his head turned, looking outside, and his black hair covered most of his profile. It looked like almost of the wounds I'd inflicted had mended, but there was still an unhealed one visible on his neck where his scarf had slipped. I bit down on my lip harder at the sight of the angry gash and I subconsciously pulled down my sleeves to hide _my_ scars- old and new. That's when he turned back and looked at me. In a split second, eyes like day met eyes like night and we looked away just as quick.

This is how it had been since the night I got back, the night they were burning my burial shroud and Nico stormed away swearing I wasn't dead. The night he found me alive- but at a breaking point. And when he'd tried to put me back together I did the same thing to him. How he could forgive me and how could I forgive myself? So this was our song and dance: steadily avoiding each other until one tried to approach and the other skirted away. Chiron and Kayla and Thalia agreed that being around Nico wasn't good for 'my recovery'.

They didn't seem to realize that he was frickin' _instrumental_. Everything seemed to revolve around him now- from my fears to my guilt. I needed him to forgive me, I needed to forgive myself, and still, for all the times he'd antagonized me when we had met, I needed to forgive him. It was this huge, endless, crazing cycle I couldn't find my way out of. How could I hope to make things better when it didn't look like we'd ever be on speaking terms again?

So instead of telling even Mathias or talking to Nico, I put on a smile for the world and kept my distance. Because from far enough away, everything looks perfect.

But if anyone bothered to look close enough they'd see the hollows under my eyes and how that smile was a bit too strained and how much I was lying to to everyone including myself. No, my 'caretakers' didn't need to worry about sending my sanity over the edge. Right now my worst enemy was right here.

Because how long would it be before I broke myself?

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**So this isn't my best takeoff, there's a bit of turbulence. But let's see how it goes, hmm? As a belated birthday present, leave a review? **


	2. 2 I Wouldn't Last A Minute

**A/N: I got a tablet~ Like finally! Too bad it's so difficult to use... but this whole chappie was typed out using it. I apologize for abandoning PJO for the Hetalia fandom.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians. But don't we all wish we did? I don't own Baby You Wouldn't Last a Minute On the Creek by Chiodos either... the lyrics aren't used but the better half of the chapter is completely modeled after it. **

**Listen or else you seriously miss the effect of this chapter :|**

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The answer was internal.

"The only kind of injuries we can't heal completely are internal injuries," Will said, "If the situation arises the wounded demigod will have to be taken to a hospital."

I nodded. All us Apollo kids already knew this stuff, seeing as how we were the medics of camp. We were just having a review. I tuned out and looked around the infirmary. It wasn't really necessary- I already had the place memorized from: the number of cots to the posters about the affects of smoking and consuming too much ambrosia. I was out of the infirmary the second Will said we could leave.

I think I knew enough about injuries of the internal kind. About them not healing properly.

I started down the path to my cabin. I didn't even have to look where I was going, I'd memorized the way. I put on the Bose headphones Rachel had lent me after a particularly daunting 'therapy' session' and they muffled the sounds of camp and winter. Then it was all quiet, just whatever found it's way into my head, be they thoughts... or memories.

_Like hell. Like eternal damnation. Like the bottom of Tartarus, like the depths of _his _heart. Dark, cold, empty and still except for taunts and cries that go unanswered. But if you scream enough, the screams bury you deep enough that you don't have to feel a thing. _

_But that doesn't mean it's not happening and in the end, skin and bones aren't the only things left bloody and broken. Then there's only _silence.

I turned my music up as loud as it could go. I frantically dug my nails into my wrists. Think of anything, anything else. A distraction, a distraction was always a good thing, right? Apparently my subconscious agreed because I veered off the path leading toward the courtyard. Of course, because this is me we're talking about, I got lost within seconds. But I keep moving, one foot in front of the other. It was like listening to a car radio- but when you went under an overpass another signal cut through. Something was cutting through, taking me away. I appreciated it.

For a while anyway.

I should have known when a younger dryad tugged on my braid and shook her leaves, as if telling me to go back. I pulled away and went on. I was only only vaguely aware of the lack of light filtering through the tree tops because the 'radio broadcast' was still steering me into the woods. Imagine my surprise and horror when I stopped and realized where I was and who was there.

I whirled around and was about to take off but he saw me first.

"Stop!"

I did and regretted it. Nico strode up to me from his spot by the pond. He looked at me for a good long minute and I shivered under his stare. He was close enough to see everything, my sunken eyes, my perpetually bruised skin, the way I clutched my elbows like they were lifelines. _His eyes... black as night, just as deep._

Nico raised a hand like I did to brush back Mathias' hair but I snapped, "Drop it."

Nico did but he looked stunned. I was just as surprised by my sudden fierceness. If if only I'd had it back then. I wanted to turn around and walk away and act like I'd never knew Nico but it was too late for an easy way out like that. Neither of us spoke and I couldn't handle the silence- not around him- so I spoke up,

"I-" we said simultaneously.

"You first-"

"No-"

Nico blew his thick bangs out his eyes in frustration.

"Just wait-" we said again.

His narrowed his eyes and I did the same. We stared each other down, refusing to be the one to make a mistake.

Finally, finally Nico talked.

"You look like crap."

If I had the energy I would have socked him then and there.

"Thanks. I've heard."

Quiet. Was that all he had to say? Staying here and listening to Nico was probably the worst idea I had ever had. It was Awkward Silence City. And when I was in Awkward Silence City and Uncomfortable Frightening Situation Ville my ADHD really acted up and I needed to _run_.

"Goodbye," I muttered before I backed away.

"Aline..."

That stopped me cold. It was the first time I'd heard him say my name in months. I was thinking- hoping, really- that he'd forgotten my name so I could someday forget his. But- yep, there it was- that funny feeling in my gut and the inability to do anything other than what he said. I stood still until he crossed the distance between us and put a hand on my shoulder, turning me to face him. A stifled cry worked it's way from my chest even Nico was being gentle, more gentle than _he_'d ever been. As if he could read my mind- or maybe he just saw the tears forming in the corners of my eyes- Nico let me go. But I still faced him. It was a surprise I could do that much.

Nico took a deep breath before he said anything,

"There's absolutely no reason for you to want to talk to me or forgive me. Because I've been horrible and awful and other words I can't get away with saying and if you want turn around and walk in a different direction that's fine. I suck at apologizing, I know, I've never really done it... so I'm sorry.

But you've hurt me too. And even I'm not that forgiving. Ask my sister. If there's anything I'm good at it's holding grudges and I've been trying so hard to hold one to you. But I can't and that's got to mean something, right?"

Did it? I wanted to ask but my throat constricted everytime I tried to say what I felt.

Nico looked as desperate as I felt, "Just put it all aside, what do you say? Whether it was contempt in the beginning, or anger, or... whatever else, I can't just ignore what I've felt."

"And I can't overlook what you've done." My voice was foreign to my ears, "Can we please just walk away? It could be like we never knew each other _at all_."

After a lull punctuated by nothing but clouds of breath Nico's eyes turned steely. I shivered- and not from the cold.

"Is that what you want?"

"Yes," I lied. I could only hide the truth. Maybe saying that was the best idea I had ever had.

Nico ran a hand through his hair, "Fine. If that's what you say."

I nodded numbly, all previous strength and motivation leaving me like air leaving a popped balloon. Nico opened his mouth like he was going try one last time to say what he felt but he didn't. He just walked away. I did the same.

I never looked back.

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**Lunar: And they loved every second of it.  
****Aline and Nico: Don't you go making me into some sort of closet masochist!  
Lunar: Look, there they go, doing it again x3 One more time you guys.  
Aline and Nico: Leave a review? Thank you! **


	3. 3 In Which I Consider Insomnia

**A/N: Happy new year!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians or any related products, characters, information, etc.**

* * *

The answer was sleep.

I couldn't do it at night anymore. So I stayed in and napped as much as possible when it was light outside. Nobody dared object.

"Won't you join us outside? _La niege _looks nice," CG asked. All our siblings had left, chatting excitedly about holiday music and cold weather.

I shook my head. East coast winters were proving to be too cold for a born and breed California girl like me. And Zeus must have been anxious or something, with the amount of thunder and winds we were receiving inside the borders. CG shrugged and sat on the foot of my bed, his expression calm and patient.

Half-heartedly, I raised an eyebrow and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Keeping you company, _mon petit_," he said brightly.

"You should go join the others. Have fun. I need to rest," I murmured.

CG reached over and patted my clenched fists, "I think you need me more. Even though you hesitate to admit it." I didn't respond, but I didn't make an attempt to remove his hand or him either. I guess I was thankful for someone's care, to be lulled asleep by the steady beating of another heart.

But my dream wasn't nearly as pleasant. It started the same way it had for a couple of weeks: empty. Just me, standing in a white void _void_ of anything but a pair of stone doors. They looked heavy but they floated in the vastness. The doors were inscribed with signs that looked Greek, except a thousand times more ancient and powerful. When I tried to read it my brain hurt. I'd stare at these doors for _hours_, _days_- I wasn't sure- until someone came by, and he always did. Thanatos. Every day the white-haired demon invaded my dreams but not once did he see me. Thanatos only smirked, like he knew I was there. And he placed a ring against the doors and when he did everything turned pitch black and the doors rattled because _something _was trying to break through.

So when the same things happened that evening- Thanatos taking a bow as he disappeared- I was shocked when the gates opened a crack. Out flew a young man, around Percy's age. He was all around good looking: tall muscled, blond, blue-eyed, except for the scar beneath his eye and the one visible under his arm and his burned hand.

So he was only about an eight.

_Luke_.

I guess I said it out loud because the dead demigod looked straight at me; that's when I saw he was transparent. Luke was a ghost. Then our eyes met and he said,

"You've got to be kidding me."

Now, a lot of weird stuff had happened to me in my dreams but this was definitely up there: the ghost of my best friend's ex best friend berating me upon a first glance. Oh, as well as the way he was struggling against the doors, trying to keep them shut.

"Are you going to help me?" he snapped. I was frightened into submission. I moved through the emptiness until my dream self was pushing the doors closed. Now, I expected the stone to be cold but it was freezing. It burned a bit too, eating holes into my favorite yellow sweatshirt.

"Sedimentary stone from the sand of the river Styx," Luke explained, seeming completely immune to it. Even though he was standing right beside me he wasn't disappearing or disengaging or dissipating or whatever other spirits usually did.

"I'm not dead," he read my mind once again. I nearly let go of the door. It rattled and shifted but Luke grabbed my hand and placed it back. Not only did it shut the gate again, it proved whatever he was, dead wasn't it.

"Now listen carefully. You have to make sure the doors do not open. You already lost the key- good job by the way," he added sarcastically, "Though it's not too late. He's willing to stall a little, make you feel you're safe. He's arrogant like that. So get down here-" Luke gave the doors a final shove, "-and _fix_ this." When the doors slammed I started floating between the dream and consciousness but I caught Luke saying,

"Tell her once again, I'm sorry."

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**IMPORTANT: I am really, really struggling here. I have a... plot 'direction', if you please, that I'm not sure I should take. So when you drop a review, tell me whether or not to take it up! Also, I'd really like a beta. Honestly, this time.**

**And anyway who can tell me what anime/manga the white voids/doors/gate idea was drawn from gets...a songfic?**


	4. 4 Always The Same In This Town

**AN: WhatisthisIdon'teven Dx Blame life. I do not own PJO or any related characters.**

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The answer was debatable.

"Most tiring night of my life," CG groaned collapsing face first onto his bed. He still had his guitar strapped to his back.

"Yeah right. You should have been at the Put It In Caps Tour 2007. Anyone in the mosh pit was turned to mush," I retorted. Usually the thought of the first concert Tanner had taken me to made me grin. But now the memory of all the people and the complete dark had me shivering. The cheers turned to screams and the playful shoves turned to hands, trying to pull me under.

"Aline! _Se tirer de_!" A warm hand gripped my shoulder and pulled me back. The red haze disappeared from my eyes to reveal my brother looking at me in worry.

"_Mon Dieu_, should I get Kayla?" he asked, rising. The rest of our half brothers and sisters were still in the amphitheatre, cleaning up the equipment from the Apollo cabin's holiday concert. The music, loud and upbeat, suddenly seemed very far away. CG's grip tightened.

"You're still getting the nightmares."

"I'm not," I said. It was only a half lie but my throat still tightened saying it. CG's amber eyes narrowed like he knew I was partially lying.

"If you are you have to tell someone," he said, sounding harsher than I'd ever heard him before.

"Why do you care so much? It's my problem, not yours. I have to get over it on my own, not when a little ginger and a centaur tell me to!"

CG's grip on my arm got even tighter, to the point where it _hurt_, "You're my little sister. _M__e tient à cœur_. How can I stand by and let you destroy yourself, inside to out? You never go out, you never speak. You seem so hopeless. I can't overlook what you've done."

Maybe it was what a shock it was to have those words spoken back at me but all I could say was, "Too bad. It seems like you've only ever been able to sit by and watch and that's all you can do now." Those words- bitter and false- caved in my lungs but the pressure on my arm disppeared.

"Sometimes, _cher_," his voice had lost all joy and energy from earlier this evening, "I believe you enjoy other's suffering as much as your own."

With that our siblings returned, looking between the pair of us skeptically.

"I'm going to sleep," I said to no one in particular. That was one statement I hadn't meant to be true, but it was thirty minutes later.

I woke up- thrashing, a raw scream threatening to claw itself out of my throat. I frantically threw my sheets off me, they were cold and confining and damp- with sweat from a nightmare, not blood. I could never recall my dreams- or were they memories- when I awoke which was probably for the best. I knew in my dreams I lost any sight, any feeling, any sense, but the screaming _didn't stop_. Yet, the pitch-black I opened my eyes to was hardly better. I chided myself for falling asleep at night. I was too vulnerable in the dark, when I couldn't see what was waiting. I wrapped my arms around myself and shivered. More from feeling the raised scars that seemed even more marring in the lack of light than from the cold.

Even so, I was sure to slip on a worn out hoodie and sneakers before I left Cabin Seven.

I know what you're thinking: 'Stupid girl. Aren't you afraid of the dark? Doesn't it make sense for that fear to have only gotten worse?' No. When I was out, when I was free, when I could run and hide I knew I was time. The only times I was afraid was when I was lying there, frozen and helpless, _as if I was offering myself up_...

I walked into a tree. I found a small comfort in the fact I could still do stupid things. I looked up to the darkened sky, hoping to find the moon or some other celestial body that didn't exist in the Underworld. The stars were there but they looked sinister, glinting like his piercings. The waning moon was like the curve of his jaw, too severe. And every shadow, sparse as they were, was under his control, trying to bring me back.

I walked on but everything reminded me of_ him_. The color of the river in the distance matched his eyes. The snow was like his skin: cold, white, and unyielding. The air was his hands- numbing and _everywhere_.

I ran. For the life of me I couldn't tell you where I was trying to go but I _ran_. Looking back, maybe a part of me knew. Took me there, through the woods to the clearing that had been untouched by winter, because I needed to be there.

Amazingly, I avoided skewering my eye or any other appendage on a branch. The dryads must have been on my side, nudging me forward. But the closer I got the more my brain screamed at me to turn around. He'd caused me so much pain already, without us even having a real relationship. I knew what he was like at his worst. I knew how much control he had over my heart, and how much damage he could do to the already shattered me. I also knew how good he could be, as well as the way he could put me back together.

There was less than six steps between him and me now. But I wasn't brave enough to take them. I was about to back away and let the shadows claim me but...

Maybe it was the way the moonlight made him no more than a silhouette against silver, made him look harmless and alluring.

Maybe it was because he turned, he saw me when I was trying my best to hide, and spoke my name first.

Or maybe I really was just a masochist.

I stepped forward.

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**Dun dun frickin' dun? Um...okay I need to make a quick escape. Oh look it's awesome in the form of sweet potato pie. Aahaha, I'm so high off Sharpies right now xO . Don't sniff 'em, children. Just don't.**


	5. 5 Illuminating NO's On Vacancy Signs

**A/N: Ahem. As pathetic as it sounds I poured [what's left of] my heart out on this chapter. So if you have nothing to say for it except it's too short or took too long, don't even review. Thanks anyway.**

**Disclaimer: I've done this at least thirty times. No, I don't own it. I use such an insane barrage of songs in this chapter I'll specify them at the bottom. Soundtrack of the chapter: Death Cab For Cutie- I Will Follow You Into The Dark.**

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The answer was a falling mound of snow.

I was never one to tread lightly and_ that _was one thing that hadn't changed, among few. I stepped back without looking and the snow gathered on a branch hit the ground with a thud. Nico looked directly at me even though it was way too dark for him to have been able to see me.

"Aline."

Nico said my name with such certainty that for a second I was sure he could see me. Or maybe he was just hoping as well. I debated turning my back and fleeing like I had done before but I didn't. I was done with hiding and I was getting tired of running.

The meadow was undisturbed by the cold. It made me feel almost content. The water of the stream was still- frozen- the only sign winter had found it's way here. Bright flowers still bloomed and there was a certain flower that _glowed_ when the moonlight hit it. In the dark, most of the color was drained but everything was beautiful in black, white, and silver. Including Nico. The starlight turned the edges of his hair the color of steel and did the same to his eyes. His skin, which I'd once found so unnaturally pale, was the one warm thing in the night. Nico looked like...an angel? A prince? No. A hero. And he looked at me like he was waiting for permission to save me. _Why not_, I thought to myself.

"Hey..." I began. Three life changing months and I wasn't a bit more eloquent.

"Hello," Luckily, Nico wasn't either.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked, stating the obvious.

"I could say the same to you," he said, dodging my question.

The corner of my lips twitched upward, "Touché."

I fiddled with the strings of my sweatshirt. I was nervous as a rabbit in the presence of a fox because Nico hadn't stopped looking at me. Part of me wished him to advert his eyes, look away before he saw everything that was wrong with me. Before the things in my heart crawled their way out and bared my soul to him. The other part of me, which was steadily gaining my attention, wanted Nico to see me. To lock his eyes with mine and not look away, not ever.

"I couldn't sleep. My cabin was too quiet with just me and the harpies know better than to confront me."

I was yanked from my too intense thoughts. I was confused until I realized he'd answered my earlier question. Funny- I coveted silence more than ever now.

"Really?" Nico inquired. I'd spoken out loud by accident, "Where's the girl who was forever singing, making obscure musical references, and looking dazed as she hummed symphony pieces from memory?"

"She's gone," I said bluntly. Yet, I got that funny feeling in my stomach like when I lied.

"That's what I was worried about," Nico mused tiredly.

I found myself sitting beside him. The few feet between us was like an ocean that had been too daunting to sail before. Now, I reckon I was willing to swim cross it. I saw a fleeting image in my mind of a younger, more naive Nico staring into a black expanse of water, like he could find all the answers there. I risked looking into his similar eyes. There weren't many answers as far as I could tell, but they left me with a lot of questions. Like:

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"How do I say this...I've seen the sky from quite a few places. I've shadowtraveled to Asia, San Fransisco, the canals in Venice, and any mid-western town you can name. But wherever you are- no matter how high you go- the stars never seem any closer," Nico over to me wearing a small, sad smile that looked too good on him, "You're like the stars to me, Aline."

My heart splintered, I think. Surely it must of for me to feel such a pain inside my chest. My voice cracked as I said,

"I don't want to be so far away but I can't help it these days."

"Aline..."

Nico said my name with such conviction I couldn't help it. When I started speaking I couldn't stop. A month, three weeks, and six days worth of terror and uncertainty came flying out of my chest. Everything I'd thought about him, how I felt about him, what had happened with his brother in the Underworld

"_I close my eyes and beg for peace. As you can imagine, I never found it so I started staying up at night_. "

"_Cause I'm a mess and you know that I can't help it. But they try to and that only makes it worse. It makes me feel guilty because I'm not trying. I'm too proud to breathe but I'm too weak to say the things worth saying. To Thalia, to my brother, to you_."

"_There are times when I want to run until my feet don't touch the ground. Except everytime I run I leave a piece of me behind_."

When I finished Nico was looking at me blankly.

"You broke your promise," he said simply.

I thought about the vow I made before I quested: that I'd be okay and come back alright. "I guess I did."

"I-I should have been there. I could...have..."

"Gotten yourself killed," I finished, surprising myself with how much terror the thought struck within me, "You couldn't have done anything."

"You're wrong. I could have been a less terrible person. I could have forgiven you and realized something was wrong. I could have made sure you weren't carrying this so long. I should have been the first person you could tell- I'm the first person you've told..." he realized, shocked, "Why haven't you said anything-"

"You think it'd be easy! Do you have any idea how much it hurts to recall enough to tell you!" My voice rose as Nico's had.

"No. I don't know but I believe you. Just, why me? Why trust me?"

"Why not? I'm already crazy, and insane, and a mess. And...you sort of are, too, aren't you? So why not?" I added firmly, daring him to disagree. He didn't; instead he roughly ran a hand through his wavy hair. Sitting here this long was making the ADHD pair of us anxious.

"Okay, why not? Trust me, Aline. Believe me when I say I'll never hurt you again."

I stunned us both with how easily I could say, "I do."

Nico moved toward me hesitantly. The apprehensive way didn't suit him.

"I'm not afraid of you, Nico," I told myself as much as I told him.

"I know," he smirked in humor, "I'm a bit frightened of you."

I held my breath as Nico took seat beside me but let it go just as fast. It felt so right. I wasn't scared or jittery. My heart didn't thump against the walls of my chest nor did I turn breathless and lightheaded. Nico's shoulder and knee barely touched mine but his body heat sent waves through me, from my stomach to fingertips. _Charmant_, is what CG would call this moment.

I kept quiet and waited for...something. It was what all those poems and songs were about: fireworks, or white lights, or a romantic violin piece in the background. I listened closer but there was nothing except crickets and Nico's breathing. I shut my eyes and tuned it out, searching deep with in my mind. There was no blinding light or heart-racing melody so I opened my eyes, disappointed. Aloud I wondered,

"Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?"

"No," Nico shook his head slowly, "I used to hear it, too. After my sister died and I was running around the Underworld plotting revenge, it was all I ever heard. Then I met you and you filled it up. Now there's always noise because I can hear your voice and... the blood rushing in my ears," he added, the tops of his ears indeed turning pink.

"You make me laugh," I stated, indeed laughing. On a whim I threw my arms around his chest. I could feel his rib cage even through his sweater, but hey, my twig-like arms fit impeccably. Let us be imperfect together. Nico carelessly wrapped an arm around my back and if he could feel the scars he didn't flinch. I let my suddenly heavy head lay on his shoulder and Nico rested his head on top of mine. It felt right but was it, right now? Did I even care? The answer was 'no' because the night was bright and Nico was warm, not to mention his clothes smelled like cola and...McDonald's? I stifled a yawn; even if this feeling of a sanctuary was temporary I wanted to hold it for as long as possible.

"Go to sleep. You'll be fine," the prince of death and darkness said. Is it odd it made me feel infinitely better? I fell asleep that night and for the first time I didn't have a nightmare. I did have a dream, albeit it was only a black void with flashes of a blinding smile. I woke up soon after but my body was still heavy and I had no will to move. Nico, who had stayed awake, was fighting off fits of yawns.

The warmth of his cheek left the top of my head. He'd looked up at the sky and the stars that had never seemed closer. His lips moved rapidly and only half-aware I couldn't make out who he was talking to. Then I realized Nico was praying, quietly because he thought I was still asleep. He was praying to the gods on Mt. Olympus.

"Don't disturb her. Look at how she's so serene and it's the way she should be. I want to keep her dreaming. I-It's my one request. I know you can't give me luck but if you're on my side tonight then all the clumsy things I've said have made us just a tiny bit right." I moved just a little and laid my hand on Nico's upturned wrist, hoping he'd think it was a subconscious twitch and not the sign of affection it really was. I felt him stiffen but a second later he wrapped his fingers around mine. They were cold and calloused but I didn't care, "I'm not much but she's enough."

It was then I decided I wouldn't stop waiting for that hint of a spark.

* * *

**Music: Jersey, ****Take This To Heart, ****Ocean and Atlantic, You Be The Anchor That Keeps My Feet On The Ground I'll Be The Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds, ****I Swear This Time I Mean It, all by Mayday Parade :D As well as I Will Follow You Into The Dark from Death Cab For Cutie.**

**'Charmant' is French for about a billion things: enchanting, winning, pleasant, charming, lovely, nice. You get the point, non?**


End file.
